Some beach, somewhere... There's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair. Palm trees are growing and a warm breeze is blowing. I picture myself right there... on some beach, somewhere.

I suppose it's time to share another update... as you may have deduced, I've been a bit busy.

We are beginning to dive into the "Terrific Two's"... Someone once told me to refer to them as the 'Terrific Two's' instead of the 'Terrible Two's'... Because of all of the learning and developing they're experiencing in order to gain a strong 'no'. Yea, he was full of shit. Somedays the tantrums are enough to make me want to throw up the deuces and hit the bar.

Yesterday she had a 5 minute hysterical meltdown over chapstick. Yea, you read that right. Chapstick. Or as Evie calls it "Chaps". Today she went off the deep end after we washed her hands, she wanted to go through the washing process all over again. I said no. And guess who is the asshole? You guessed it.

If she is this way now, I can only imagine what the teenage years bring for us. I foresee a lot of "I hate you Mom"'s in my future. Joy.

A few key phrases get me through the days anymore... "Jesus take the wheel" and "This too shall pass." Maybe I should get them tattooed on me somewhere... Not anywhere on my face, because I can't tell you the last time I looked in a mirror. I did brush my teeth today! It was around 2:30pm, that counts right?

But, for all of her high spiritedness, she actually is a delightful child. She makes me laugh all the time, she has the most expressive face and she is a love bug. She walks up to me at the most random times to give hugs and kisses- unsolicited. And the things she says- gah! Right now she is having trouble with words that start with "S"... So her "S's" end up at the end of words- ie: Squirrel is "Quirrels", Smart is "Marts. It's cute, but I'm often left scratching my head trying to figure out what the heck she's trying to say.

Weston...my sweet, sweet boy. Well, he's been sleeping really well at night for the last 3 weeks or so. He's good for at least a solid 7.5-10 hour stretch at night. But, his naps FREAKING SUCK!!! Maximal effort to get him to sleep, with a yield of 30 minutes of nap time. Each time he wakes up after 30 min. I feel like I could vom. This means Evie and I are going back into the room while Mama shushes and rocks Weston back to sleep (if he even falls back asleep- that's a crap shoot), and Evie tears apart every last item in the room.

Today while I was having a particularly difficult time settling Weston down for a nap, Evie was in the room with me (if I leave her out of the room she gets in way too much mischief; eats the dogs food, moves the kitchen chair over to the kitchen counter and tries to get items off of it, grabs knives off the counter(!?!?!), Macguyver's the baby gate and ends up upstairs, slams doors, screams and cries, pulls all the wipes (looking for dirty diapers I assume) out the box... this is just an abbreviated list) and she brought her shopping cart in with her. She started filling her cart with items from the dresser, mama's chapstick here, a cell phone there, a necklace, earrings... then she tried to pick up the dog and put her in there. Well, needless to say, ol' Chloe didn't appreciate that much and gave a yelp- just as Weston had closed his eyes. Back to the drawing board. Ugh. So, I go back to shushing and rocking, and Evie keeps adding items to her collection- we now have a hairbrush, some ponytail holders, a remote control... and then she decides it's a great time to tip over the shopping cart. It made a huge loud crashing noise. And guess who just woke up again? OMG. The anxiety is building. This kid just needs to go to sleep. If he doesn't go down for a nap, he is an absolute crab. I start rocking and shushing again, and Evie decides at this exact moment she needs milk. "MILLLLKKKKKKKK!!!!!!" She screams. I quietly say, "Let me get Weston to sleep and then I will get you some milk." Enter toddler meltdown 4,514 for the day. I'm on the verge of a meltdown, nay, a nervous breakdown. I can't take this shit much longer. My bouncing and shushing goes into overdrive, I crank up the ocean wave sound effects and in my mind I'm on a beach in Bora Bora... I tune out the toddler and I'm working up a sweat from all the bouncing... Sunshine on my face, wind in my hair... Dammit, in my mind, I'm really on that beach, with a tall glass of something- definitely not milk. And, after a glorious 10 minutes that boy is out. HALLELUJAH! I could've cried tears of pure joy if I had the energy. But alas, no time for tears... the toddler needs her milk.

Until next time...