"Your greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at the things in life that don't really matter." - Francis Chan
So if you will indulge me for a minute, take a moment and really think about what that quote is saying. Because, I have thought about it many times and still had it wrong.
So without going into all the gory details, I will summarize by saying my employment situation over the last couple of years has not been what I imagined it to be when Steph and I made the decision to move back to Ohio from DC. This decision had really been made with the idea that it was a great move for my career, which turned out to not be what it initially appeared to be. But, that has led to an opportunity for me to continue in the workforce doing something I really love, but also to be at home most of the time with the kids.
And at first, I despised it. I mean really did not like it at all. I made so many daily comments about “just finding any job” and “I am going to go work at Home Depot” that I have officially been banned from uttering the phrase “I'm going to go work at Home Depot”. Like really. If George Carlin was still with us he could add that to the 7 words you are never can never say on television, well technically making it 7 words and 1 phrase: sh*t, p*ss, f*ck, c*nt, c*cks*cker, m*therf*cker, t*ts and “I'm going to go work at Home Depot.” Together they have a nice ring to them.
Anyway, after acclimating to my new situation, my feelings on this arrangement not only began to soften, but actually began to change completely. I began to embrace my new role as a stay at home dad. I have actually managed to take both of the children out of the house by myself. I know a novel idea, but a few months ago, I was lucky if I even got them out of their pajamas, let alone got them out of the house. Well, lets not kid ourselves here, there are some days that we do leave the house, but don't leave our pajamas. These are typically days we go to Walmart.
So you may be thinking to yourself right about now, that this seems like the ramblings of a man who tends to eat all the food the toddler drops throughout the day and appears to have contracted something. But, I do have a point and I am getting to it.
I was succeeding at things in life that didn't really matter. We moved to Ohio for me to continue to pursue my ideal science career. But, in the end I realized I was trying to succeed at something that didn't really matter. Did I want want my gravestone to read “great scientist” or “great father?” Now, these things do not have to be mutually exclusive, but I will say for me, there was a time that I was more focused on the former and not the later.
My epiphany about my situation was realized the week when I was putting up the Christmas lights outside. This was something that I had not done since we had moved back, because I was always feeling too busy doing some work related activity. When I completed them, Steph brought Evie outside to see them and when I flipped them on she exclaimed “wow” in a little whisper she sometimes does. And at that moment I realized what I should be succeeding at. Having the opportunity to do the simple things like decorate the house for Christmas and let the kids see it or be present when they want to show me something, rather than thinking about the next ten experiments I needed to complete the next day. This reminds me of another great quote that tends to sum up my feelings about this situation. “Do not focus on planning your next vacation, focus on creating a life you don't need to escape from.”
And that is what I am currently doing. Embracing this season of my life and finding even a few great moments everyday that make me thankful to be in the situation I am in. I don't want to create a life I need to escape from, nor do I want to succeed at things in life that don't really matter.
That is not to say that being a stay at home dad is my only path going forward. I have a lot of aspirations to use my degree and training in other ways and look forward to how that plays out. This does come with a two sided coin though. As excited as I am about the prospect of going back to work full time, there is a twinge of pain in my soul to know I will not see the little people all day, everyday. I guess that indicates just how much I have evolved.
Well, that is all for now. Just thought I would share. Hope everyone enjoys it and if you work hard enough maybe one day you can annoy someone so much that they ban your favorite word or phrase!
Until Next Time...
Jas
So without going into all the gory details, I will summarize by saying my employment situation over the last couple of years has not been what I imagined it to be when Steph and I made the decision to move back to Ohio from DC. This decision had really been made with the idea that it was a great move for my career, which turned out to not be what it initially appeared to be. But, that has led to an opportunity for me to continue in the workforce doing something I really love, but also to be at home most of the time with the kids.
And at first, I despised it. I mean really did not like it at all. I made so many daily comments about “just finding any job” and “I am going to go work at Home Depot” that I have officially been banned from uttering the phrase “I'm going to go work at Home Depot”. Like really. If George Carlin was still with us he could add that to the 7 words you are never can never say on television, well technically making it 7 words and 1 phrase: sh*t, p*ss, f*ck, c*nt, c*cks*cker, m*therf*cker, t*ts and “I'm going to go work at Home Depot.” Together they have a nice ring to them.
Anyway, after acclimating to my new situation, my feelings on this arrangement not only began to soften, but actually began to change completely. I began to embrace my new role as a stay at home dad. I have actually managed to take both of the children out of the house by myself. I know a novel idea, but a few months ago, I was lucky if I even got them out of their pajamas, let alone got them out of the house. Well, lets not kid ourselves here, there are some days that we do leave the house, but don't leave our pajamas. These are typically days we go to Walmart.
So you may be thinking to yourself right about now, that this seems like the ramblings of a man who tends to eat all the food the toddler drops throughout the day and appears to have contracted something. But, I do have a point and I am getting to it.
I was succeeding at things in life that didn't really matter. We moved to Ohio for me to continue to pursue my ideal science career. But, in the end I realized I was trying to succeed at something that didn't really matter. Did I want want my gravestone to read “great scientist” or “great father?” Now, these things do not have to be mutually exclusive, but I will say for me, there was a time that I was more focused on the former and not the later.
My epiphany about my situation was realized the week when I was putting up the Christmas lights outside. This was something that I had not done since we had moved back, because I was always feeling too busy doing some work related activity. When I completed them, Steph brought Evie outside to see them and when I flipped them on she exclaimed “wow” in a little whisper she sometimes does. And at that moment I realized what I should be succeeding at. Having the opportunity to do the simple things like decorate the house for Christmas and let the kids see it or be present when they want to show me something, rather than thinking about the next ten experiments I needed to complete the next day. This reminds me of another great quote that tends to sum up my feelings about this situation. “Do not focus on planning your next vacation, focus on creating a life you don't need to escape from.”
And that is what I am currently doing. Embracing this season of my life and finding even a few great moments everyday that make me thankful to be in the situation I am in. I don't want to create a life I need to escape from, nor do I want to succeed at things in life that don't really matter.
That is not to say that being a stay at home dad is my only path going forward. I have a lot of aspirations to use my degree and training in other ways and look forward to how that plays out. This does come with a two sided coin though. As excited as I am about the prospect of going back to work full time, there is a twinge of pain in my soul to know I will not see the little people all day, everyday. I guess that indicates just how much I have evolved.
Well, that is all for now. Just thought I would share. Hope everyone enjoys it and if you work hard enough maybe one day you can annoy someone so much that they ban your favorite word or phrase!
Until Next Time...
Jas
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