I'm trying to forget that, I'm addicted to you. But I want it and I need it, I'm addicted to you. Now it's over, can't forget what you said, and I never, want to do this again... heart breaker.

Yea... to kick off my month of no social media I colored my hair. In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman- "Big mistake. Big." Thank goodness I have only a few pictures to remember this by.

Here we are, on the eve before I make my return to social media after a month long hiatus. As I sit here reflecting on what my break from social media has done for me over the last month, I would love to be able to tell you that I had a spiritual awakening, or that I found myself,  that I became a better parent or that I learned so much from this experience and I am forever a changed person. But I can't say that. At the end of the day, I really just sort of missed social media.

The first day into my break, I think I reached for my phone to skim Facebook or Instagram a minimum of 75 times. That was rough. What do I do with my 'free time'? Well, I decided to make a wreath that day. I've never made a wreath before, but that was the day I made my first wreath. Not bad, eh?

Day 2 of my break, I reached for social media probably 15 times. And by day 5, I just quit reaching because I knew I wasn't going to find what I really wanted. I did have several discussions early on with my sister wife (Jackie) who also quit social for the month, about how addicted we both are, and why this is precisely why we needed this month long break. We lamented together... but, it's absence has become so routine now, she and I don't even talk about it anymore... ok, that's a lie. I did great for the entire month until the last 5 days or so. It's all I've talked about. Thought about. Ew.

I thought that maybe my wreath making would continue throughout October, but it didn't. I didn't really craft anything, except for going to a super fun class with a friend of mine where we hand lettered cute phrases onto pumpkins. I didn't take up baking. Truth be told, I probably cooked less because I wasn't being inspired by recipes showing up in my daily feed. I didn't learn to knit, or spend the time organizing my children's baby books (what baby books?).

I spent more time reading the news than I ever have. It's amazing how disconnected from 'the world' I felt being off social media. Who got married? Who had a birthday? Did anyone have a baby? Is anyone sick? Did anyone die? I guess when I log in tomorrow, maybe I'll find out the answers to some of my questions.

Why did I decide to take a break from social media? Well, honestly, why not? I knew (and still know) that I am wholly addicted to seeing what is going on in my friends lives (and random celebs lives, don't hate)- am I nosey? Maybe. But, breaking from social media, I was able to invest my energies into those friends of mine who are the most important... and it turns out, over the last month they really needed me. I was thankful to have 'extra' emotional energy to tap into them in their time of need- when I wasn't wasting energy on social media debates or being frustrated by random, non-important in the grand scheme of life- things. This is probably the thing I most appreciate from my hiatus.

One other interesting realization that I had is that as much as I love to stalk, and see what's going on in my friends lives, I really like to share my life as well. This must stem from some deeply rooted element of narcissism that I have within me, and I guess I just need to own that. But there is an element of satisfaction that I definitely get from sharing my life with others. Perhaps I should've taken the month to delve into that topic, but I didn't. And I probably never will. But, it is an interesting realization nonetheless.

Prior to my social media hiatus, I had a dream that I was at a party with Thomas Rhett, Chrissy Teigen and Channing Tatum... we were all friends. It was amazing. I can’t tell you a single dream I had this past month. Give me back my social media, and my dream fantasy land. K, thx, bye.