You're so beautiful... like the clouds you, drift me away, far away... and like the sun you brighten my day, you brighten my day. I never wanna see you cry, cry, cry and I never wanna tell a lie, lie, lie... said I never wanna see you cry, cry, cry...

Oh beautiful girl, how you continue to melt my heart day after day. Gah! I just love that face!

I'm not sure if I should really admit this, but I've never been one to shy away from honesty... So, here it goes... I never really liked kids... truthfully, I was a bit nervous when I found I was pregnant because I was afraid I would not enjoy my own child. Maybe I should make myself a little more clear because rereading that it sounds pretty harsh... I didn't DISLIKE kids, I just didn't really like them. I didn't connect with them. I didn't enjoy them. Well, geez, now I feel like I'm really digging myself in a hole here... but I definitely didn't go gaga over kids, babies, whatever. I don't know that that's normal, but it was my reality. Everyone always said "it will be different for you when it's your own." And, I didn't believe them. I just kept thinking to myself- I hope Jason can be enough for this child because I just don't think playing with a whiny, smelly, sticky baby is my cup of tea. There's no connection there.

I have to admit, it hasn't taken long for me to change my mind. And all of those people who said it will be different when it's your own- were completely RIGHT! 

I am a smitten kitten. I love this kid! I love everything she does! She has boogers in her nose that I have to pick out- no big deal! She shits her pants and leaks through her diaper for the fourth time today- I got this! She spits up all over herself and me after I've just changed her into her fourth outfit of the day from the all the blowouts- no problem! My biceps and quads are bulging out from all the bouncing we do around the house- I love it! I needed to tighten and tone anyhow! She's fussy so she wants me to sing her a song in my completely off key, ridiculously pitched voice- I'll sing it 100 times for a smile! We are driving in the car, listening to my favorite tunes and the baby starts to fuss so we have to flip it over to a static channel to calm her down? Done! I'll do anything so this kid doesn't have to feel one ounce of sadness.

Who am I? And what have I done with my former self? 

I used to online shop for myself all the time... I'd peruse ridiculously expensive and ostentatious designer purses and shoes and figure out what I was going to save up for next. And now, I have literally NO desire. Um, what?! I would much rather buy Evie a precious outfit from Carter's clearance section than get myself a new accessory to collect dust in my closet. Um, what?! Who am I? And what happened to thing formerly known as my life? 

Um, this happened. 

This little nugget. 

While I was pregnant I used to dream about what she was going to be... who would she look like, what her personality would be... and each day I find out a little bit more. And I'm loving every second of it. 

I never could've asked for such a precious gift. 

She completes something in me that I didn't even know wasn't complete. 

16 weeks ago today-this happened. 

And my life hasn't been the same since... and I couldn't be happier. 

Thank you Evelyn Kate, for being you and being mine.