I'm going off the rails on a crazy train... I'm going off the rails on a crazy train...
Xanax. Ativan. Valium.
Something. I need something.
Holy mother of God... we are legit off the rails on a crazy train right now...
Days alternate between mostly chaotic, to full blown acid trips. We are living in a parallel universe that absolutely makes no logical sense to us... but to the toddler it makes perfect sense that she wants to leave the house without pants. Climb from the backseat of the car to the front seat and 'drive'. Only subsist off of fruit snacks and milk. NOW. Hold the fuzzy lambie instead of the other lambie (legit- 2 identical lambies, but she is convinced one is fuzzy and one is not). Not wearing socks when it's freezing. Every red crayon is actually pink. 'Choose' the sticker off of the paper, rather than you pulling it off for her. Only will drink from the pink cup, and will have a major meltdown (we're talking crying for 10 minutes) if you try to put the milk in another cup. Wants to take off her jammies by herself (heaven forbid you try to help her) in the morning and wear only a tutu. Flex her abs in an 'abs of steel' kind of way to try to look at her poop during a diaper change. Begs to watch 'Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood', when you turn on Daniel Tiger, she then insists that she said she wanted to watch Mickey Mouse and throws a giant tantrum until you flip over to the other show.
Makes perfect sense.
Pass the Valium.
STAT.
And then there is my sweet baby boy, Weston. He is at this horribly annoying stage of wanting to walk, but not yet being able, so he squawks out of frustration... like some kind of nasty, horrible sounding bird. Sometimes it's a very loud screeching sound... it's crazy to think that something so annoying comes out of someone so cute. Oh, and also because he's trying to pull up on everything (and I do mean everything- not even Chloe is safe from Weston's grips), I have had more than one wardrobe malfunction from him pulling down my pants.
Awesome.
Between Evie's meltdowns over pants, and Weston's hysteria and loud sounds, Jas and I have moments where we turn to each other and quote 'Dumb and Dumber'...
Oh, or Anchorman... "I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!"
Sometimes it feels like we're trying to wrangle cats... But at least everyone is happy and healthy.
Please send wine for their parents.
Something. I need something.
Holy mother of God... we are legit off the rails on a crazy train right now...
Days alternate between mostly chaotic, to full blown acid trips. We are living in a parallel universe that absolutely makes no logical sense to us... but to the toddler it makes perfect sense that she wants to leave the house without pants. Climb from the backseat of the car to the front seat and 'drive'. Only subsist off of fruit snacks and milk. NOW. Hold the fuzzy lambie instead of the other lambie (legit- 2 identical lambies, but she is convinced one is fuzzy and one is not). Not wearing socks when it's freezing. Every red crayon is actually pink. 'Choose' the sticker off of the paper, rather than you pulling it off for her. Only will drink from the pink cup, and will have a major meltdown (we're talking crying for 10 minutes) if you try to put the milk in another cup. Wants to take off her jammies by herself (heaven forbid you try to help her) in the morning and wear only a tutu. Flex her abs in an 'abs of steel' kind of way to try to look at her poop during a diaper change. Begs to watch 'Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood', when you turn on Daniel Tiger, she then insists that she said she wanted to watch Mickey Mouse and throws a giant tantrum until you flip over to the other show.
 |
| This was the outfit she picked out for our walk tonight... We were able to wrangle her into putting on pants... but the tutu was also an essential part of the outfit. She also was insistent upon this hat, which is far too small, and not really a head warming type hat. Not pictured: Sunglasses. She NEEDED her sunglasses tonight, but not the black ones or the pink ones... She NEEDED TO HAVE her blue ones. Of course. How dare we venture out of the house with the wrong sunglasses when there is no sunshine. |
Makes perfect sense.
Pass the Valium.
STAT.
And then there is my sweet baby boy, Weston. He is at this horribly annoying stage of wanting to walk, but not yet being able, so he squawks out of frustration... like some kind of nasty, horrible sounding bird. Sometimes it's a very loud screeching sound... it's crazy to think that something so annoying comes out of someone so cute. Oh, and also because he's trying to pull up on everything (and I do mean everything- not even Chloe is safe from Weston's grips), I have had more than one wardrobe malfunction from him pulling down my pants.
Awesome.
Between Evie's meltdowns over pants, and Weston's hysteria and loud sounds, Jas and I have moments where we turn to each other and quote 'Dumb and Dumber'...
Oh, or Anchorman... "I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!"
Sometimes it feels like we're trying to wrangle cats... But at least everyone is happy and healthy.
Please send wine for their parents.
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