I know you'd like to think your shit don't stank... but lean a little bit closer, see that roses really smell like poo-poo-oo... yeah, roses really smell like poo-poo-oo

I am not quite even sure how to begin this post... the last 7 days have been insane.

In the past, when I've gotten a stomach bug (stomach flu, GI bug... whatever your wording) it hasn't been enjoyable, but it usually runs it's course in a couple of days and I move on with my life. This was pre-children of course.

Since having children, I have found that a stomach bug, is actually a venture into the 9 circles of hell.

Thanks for the warning fellow parents. Oy!

So, for my friends and family that have yet to experience the joy of a stomach bug let me just paint a little picture for you...

These items have been staples in our home for the last 7 days. So much so in fact, that we have actually to go out and buy more.

I have seen more feces in the last 7 days than I have seen in 10+ years of nursing.

The things I have seen with my eyes, and smelled with my nose are so unholy... I didn't even know they were possible.

Evie started with the bug last weekend, she woke up from a nap with vomit Ev.Ery.Where. Tears, lots and lots of tears. She was hysterical. It took a while to calm her down after that. And then came the diarrhea.

Weston meanwhile was sitting back, loving life. Little did we know he was going to much sicker than Evie ever was.

3 days out of the last week we have woken up to our sweet boy, in shit filled pajamas that have soaked through to his sheets. He has been so miserable. And last night, the absolute icing on the cake... We had him in his highchair, he had an explosion (we are talking some exorcist shit here) that not only leaked out of his diaper, out of his clothes- but dripped down his highchair, puddled onto the floor and then began to leak into the air vent. How is this possible, you might ask? I have no effing clue. But it happened. And I promise there isn't an ounce of exaggeration there.

This was by far the worst day we had- he was listless and so, so sad this particular morning. Nothing would make him smile. He didn't want to eat, drink- walk around. He just laid in my arms for a solid 45 minutes. I thought I was going to have to take him to the ER. Luckily, he turned around- but it broke my heart to see him this way.

My entire nursing career was spent mostly on adults. I have never had any interest in pediatric patients because I hate sick kids. They're so sad, and helpless and it just breaks my heart. So having my own children sick has been torture. And because I know nothing about sick kids, I've been blowing up the nurse line at our doctors office all week. I just keep saying "How can so much poo come from such a small child?" They keep reassuring me that it's normal... and apparently these things last 7-10 days?!!? I mean... c'mon now! 3 more days of this? The sheer amount of laundry that's been done in this house this week is probably going to make our utility bills off the chain. Maybe I should set up a GoFundMe account... Just kidding. Maybe, not really.

Anyway, so to my friends with kids that have not yet experienced this delight, I'm sorry. But, apparently this is a rite of passage or something. Every parent I've talked to says "Yup, I remember those days..." So, there ya go. And to my friends that don't have kids, but want them someday- just let this serve as a cautionary tale. The kids are so totally worth it... I promise. Just make sure you give them a bath before cuddling.

Until next time... Purell.