All alone, just the beat inside my soul... Take me home, where my dreams are made of gold. In the zone- where the beat is uncontrolled. I know what it feels like, come on make me feel alive, feel alive, feel alive...

So, my header song may raise some eyebrows... No, I'm not depressed.  For starters, the song has a fantastic, clubby beat- and I just love me some club music. I love to dance. I used to bop all over the house to music while I was pregnant- no wonder Evie loves to constantly be moving... I never stopped. Secondly, the song kind of became my anthem...

After we got home with the baby, I truly felt like I was in this continuous cycle of changing diapers and feeding the baby. I realize that this is normal for a newborn, but this was not at all normal for me. I am not one to sit, and I literally think that my ass made an impression in the couch from not moving. My Breast Friend (a fabulous nursing pillow that I think every nursing mother should invest in), became my best friend. And that was so not healthy. 

I don't think I ever really experienced the baby blues or post-partum depression, but I definitely felt, for lack of a better word- confined. I knew what I needed to maintain my sanity, and after a pow-wow with Jas we came up with a plan for me to leave the house for the first time. My big adventure was to go to the grocery store- and I can honestly say, I've never been so excited to go to the grocery store and I don't think I'll ever be that excited to go to the grocery store again. 

I fed the baby before I left, and made sure she was fast asleep. Jason was to call me if the baby started to stir. I rolled down the windows and blared my music loud (first song of course- Alive; by Krewella), and bopped to the music in my car. I was free. Fresh air. Sanity. Life was normal again. I felt alive, and it was glorious. 

Evelyn and I both survived my first outing. And, through this experience I had an amazing revelation- I need to have at least one outing outside of the house every single day. Jason and I discussed it, and he agreed that this was a good idea. He also promised to do everything that he could to help me make it happen each and every day. And true to his word, he has. 

We started out small, just a stroll down the street with the baby to 7-11 for a slurpee, the local coffee shop, Target (I almost cried the day we went to Target! This was a drive over across the river AKA into Virginia and it was just such a "normal" thing to go and do, it was glorious). Last weekend, Andi was in town and we even ventured out to a couple of restaurants and Whole Foods. I thought it would be months and months before we could sit down at a restaurant and have a meal with a baby in tow. I was pleasantly surprised, and even pleased with myself for not being afraid to nurse the baby in public with my little nursing cover.

Andi and I at dinner

I did it. And I feel alive. What a relief! 

Little by little, I think we're figuring this whole thing out. And Evie is thriving! We had a doctors appointment this morning and she has grown from 18.5 inches at birth to 19.9 inches today! And, 4 lbs 14 oz from birth to 7 lbs 11 oz today! As she continues to grow, she is taking more and more time to take in her surroundings- she will now look at your face and she really seems to focus on it. She also does a wonderful job lifting and holding her head during tummy time. And she has even lifted her head and turned in the direction that she hears your voice (started doing this at about 2.5 weeks old!). She rolled completely over the other morning and scared the crap out of Jason. For being such a little nugget when she was born, developmentally she certainly seems on par (minus the fact that at a month old she is now the size of most newborns).

One month pictures

She loved the photo shoot... clearly. 

I suppose that's all for today! Until next time...