It's amazing I'm in this maze with you, I just can't crack your code. One day you're screaming you love me loud, the next day you're so cold. One day you're here, one day you're there, one day you care- you're so unfair. Sipping from your cup til it runneth over, holy grail.
I know I've mentioned it before- but I'll say it again... Having a kid really changed me.
I remember, before having a child of my own, I would constantly be thinking to myself "When I have kids I will NEVER do X, Y, Z..." or "I can't believe she's doing X, Y, Z... what a horrible mother." Completely laden with judgement. Like, legit, the judgement-cup runneth over.
That is until I had my own.
And now, I'm all on the defensive. It's such a strange paradox.
And I sort of hate being on the defensive... because, I totally remember what it was like to be on the other side- but I just can't get back there.
For example, there are moments that I literally want to slap the hell out of someone when they ask "Have you seen XYZ movie yet?" and my response is always "Has it come out in the past year, because no, I can pretty much guarantee you I haven't seen XYZ movie if it's come out in the last year because I haven't even sat down to watch a movie on my couch, let alone a movie theater- since Evie was born. Shit, I haven't even done the dishes from last week." But, even though I sort of snap at you... I'm actually jealous. I do wish I'd seen it. So, maybe someday like 9 years from now, I will see it... so don't ruin it for me. K, thanks!
I even find myself getting on the defensive about people saying things about the way OTHER people parent... For example, someone says: "Can you believe she lets her kid do that? I would never." Since having my own child, "I would never" has completely left my vernacular. Because ya know what... Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I have learned I can't ever say never.
One of my other favorites... "You have a babysitter tonight! You going to go out and live it up?!?" Um, yea, the operative word here is "tonight"- the sitter will not be around when little darling wakes up at 630am tomorrow. My version of 'living it up' will be enjoying a meal kid-free, 1/2 priced appetizers and an iced tea at Applebee's. Oh, and still in bed by 9pm.
This one is always a joy: "You look exhausted"- as the 1 year old is crawling out of my arms (I will digress for one moment- I heard this once, and I absolutely couldn't agree more: "Holding onto a toddler is like trying to hold onto a breakdancer that won't stop dancing."- TRUTH people. TRUTH), and then when I put her down she starts crying because she wants me to pick her back up. And truthfully, she doesn't know what the hell she wants. And ya know what? That ish is exhausting. Up. Down. Laughing. Crying. It's a crazy world that we live in with a toddler. I can't figure it out. And, I am exhausted. Then, when people suggest I try to take a nap when Evie is napping... I try to refrain from going all 'Exorcist' on them... because don't y'all know, that is MY time? And that brings onto the next point...
"Steph, your hair looks a smidge greasy..." OH NO YOU DIIINNNNTTTT. Oh, does my hair look greasy to you? Really? Well, maybe thats because I haven't showered for 2 days. Why haven't I showered when I "get to stay home" all week? Well... one word for you: Toddler. And then, the word "nap" comes into play... Oh, you think I could shower during nap time? Well, yes, technically I could... but I wanted to take advantage of my 1 hour of kid-free time to read a book/check facebook/write my blog/sip on a diet coke in peace/dream about a beach somewhere/watch TV/make a phone call...do anything except for bathe. I appreciate you watching the baby while I get the bathing part accomplished. Cheeri-o.
My sweet, patient, understanding and fantastic friend, Sara, invited me over today for a pool day and catch up time... Sounds awesome, right? I responded with, "well, I would have to bring the baby..." and she said, "Bring her!" To which, I replied "Bringing her is great, however... Packing up a kid and all of her stuff for a couple hour venture is like prepping your suitcase for a month long European vacation." And heaven forbid I forget something... My luck, it would be a diaper.
So, gone are the days of pick up and go... Gone are the days of just spending the day by the pool maxing and relaxing. And gone are the days of my harsh judgement of other people.
But, it's cool though. I think I'll keep her around.
I remember, before having a child of my own, I would constantly be thinking to myself "When I have kids I will NEVER do X, Y, Z..." or "I can't believe she's doing X, Y, Z... what a horrible mother." Completely laden with judgement. Like, legit, the judgement-cup runneth over.
That is until I had my own.
And now, I'm all on the defensive. It's such a strange paradox.
And I sort of hate being on the defensive... because, I totally remember what it was like to be on the other side- but I just can't get back there.
For example, there are moments that I literally want to slap the hell out of someone when they ask "Have you seen XYZ movie yet?" and my response is always "Has it come out in the past year, because no, I can pretty much guarantee you I haven't seen XYZ movie if it's come out in the last year because I haven't even sat down to watch a movie on my couch, let alone a movie theater- since Evie was born. Shit, I haven't even done the dishes from last week." But, even though I sort of snap at you... I'm actually jealous. I do wish I'd seen it. So, maybe someday like 9 years from now, I will see it... so don't ruin it for me. K, thanks!
I even find myself getting on the defensive about people saying things about the way OTHER people parent... For example, someone says: "Can you believe she lets her kid do that? I would never." Since having my own child, "I would never" has completely left my vernacular. Because ya know what... Desperate times call for desperate measures. And I have learned I can't ever say never.
One of my other favorites... "You have a babysitter tonight! You going to go out and live it up?!?" Um, yea, the operative word here is "tonight"- the sitter will not be around when little darling wakes up at 630am tomorrow. My version of 'living it up' will be enjoying a meal kid-free, 1/2 priced appetizers and an iced tea at Applebee's. Oh, and still in bed by 9pm.
This one is always a joy: "You look exhausted"- as the 1 year old is crawling out of my arms (I will digress for one moment- I heard this once, and I absolutely couldn't agree more: "Holding onto a toddler is like trying to hold onto a breakdancer that won't stop dancing."- TRUTH people. TRUTH), and then when I put her down she starts crying because she wants me to pick her back up. And truthfully, she doesn't know what the hell she wants. And ya know what? That ish is exhausting. Up. Down. Laughing. Crying. It's a crazy world that we live in with a toddler. I can't figure it out. And, I am exhausted. Then, when people suggest I try to take a nap when Evie is napping... I try to refrain from going all 'Exorcist' on them... because don't y'all know, that is MY time? And that brings onto the next point...
"Steph, your hair looks a smidge greasy..." OH NO YOU DIIINNNNTTTT. Oh, does my hair look greasy to you? Really? Well, maybe thats because I haven't showered for 2 days. Why haven't I showered when I "get to stay home" all week? Well... one word for you: Toddler. And then, the word "nap" comes into play... Oh, you think I could shower during nap time? Well, yes, technically I could... but I wanted to take advantage of my 1 hour of kid-free time to read a book/check facebook/write my blog/sip on a diet coke in peace/dream about a beach somewhere/watch TV/make a phone call...do anything except for bathe. I appreciate you watching the baby while I get the bathing part accomplished. Cheeri-o.
My sweet, patient, understanding and fantastic friend, Sara, invited me over today for a pool day and catch up time... Sounds awesome, right? I responded with, "well, I would have to bring the baby..." and she said, "Bring her!" To which, I replied "Bringing her is great, however... Packing up a kid and all of her stuff for a couple hour venture is like prepping your suitcase for a month long European vacation." And heaven forbid I forget something... My luck, it would be a diaper.
So, gone are the days of pick up and go... Gone are the days of just spending the day by the pool maxing and relaxing. And gone are the days of my harsh judgement of other people.
But, it's cool though. I think I'll keep her around.
The Selfie pic pun makes me laugh... HARD. xo!
ReplyDeleteGood points. A child can really change you. In a good way. You start to feel more like you belong in this world, and that you did a good thing by giving birth! It's life changing!
ReplyDelete