When you're standing at the crossroads and don't know what path to choose, let come along- 'cause even if you're wrong I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you. Won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you, take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you. I'll stand by you.

Generally, my blog posts tend to be lighthearted tales of my parenting woes, stumbles, mishaps and small victories... Today's post will be a bit more somber, but I feel like in the interest of transparency (which is what I have always tried to strive for)- I owe it to those we know personally (or not) to have some idea what is going on with us.

Happier times... Family pic in Dupont Circle last March.

I had hinted in my some of my previous posts about how challenging Jason's work schedule had become. It was not uncommon for him to put in a 70+ hour week- leaving the house around 530am and not arriving back home until nearly 8pm at night. He would sometimes go 3-4 days without seeing Evie. Weekends didn't provide any sort of respite, as he was still having to go into work on the weekends. Every weekend.

College throwback

All this with no end in sight. 

There was no "Ok, stick it out for the next 6 months and it will get better"- there was no promise of a brighter day. This would likely go on at least another 4 years... But, it could be even longer. And we were all miserable.

With an extremely heavy heart, Jason made the brave (and selfless) decision to leave academic science. Even typing the words I feel a part of my heart break for him. This was his dream. This is what he spent the last 10 years of his life devoted to. The bleak outlook for academic scientists, the lack of a work-life balance and the unending pit of despair that this career path seemed to be headed towards ultimately led him to this decision. And it sucks.

I could go on diatribe about how unfair PhD programs are, in that they are churning out these PhD's with limited options post graduation. They are promised that there will be academic jobs waiting for them. But unless you sacrifice everything in your life besides your work- academic jobs are a myth. A cruel, mythical carrot, hanging out there for these post-docs to chase after... but never quite catch.

His last day in the lab will be Friday. The most unfortunate part of all of this is that he truly loves what he does. Some of the stuff that they do in these labs is absolutely mind-boggling and fascinating. And unfortunately, not everyone can do it. I know I could never do what he does. I think it's interesting, but it's definitely not for me. At the end of the day, I know that he will miss it so much. But, I'm confident that there is something wonderful waiting around the corner- yet to be discovered.

Yoga with a 7 month old Evie

He has taken a temporary teaching position, teaching at a small college. It's another opportunity for him to add to his resume as he continues the search for something completely new. It's frightening and there are a whole lot of question marks- but sometimes you've got to make that leap.

Me pregnant with Evie

I'm going to increase my hours at work. But that is a small price to pay for having my partner, and father to our child (soon to be children) back.  We are already daydreaming about the things we're going to do when he's around again. First on the list? Get some stuff done in this house! We haven't done a single thing to this house since we moved in. It's about damn time! Pics will surely be to follow. Stay tuned. 

In the meantime, please keep Jas in your thoughts. 

Evie update: She's awesome. I love that kid. She's such a lover. Giving kisses. Hugs. Blowing kisses. Saying "Hi dog" every morning to the dog. We just finished her 8 week swimming lessons- she really enjoyed it. Scared the crap out of me the first time the instructor took her underwater, but she handled it so well.

Gymnastics class was another story. Word to the wise: hold off on gymnastics class until your kid is at least 2. I think 15 mos was just too young. Oh, and me being pregnant while trying to navigate Evie through the apparatuses (apparati?) was a sick joke. I'm confident people were laughing at me... I would've been laughing at myself- but I was too winded and sweaty(sick!!!) to have the energy to do so.

A few weekends ago, Evie got to see her great-grandfather (my Pop Pop) when he came to Ohio with my aunt and uncle for a visit. Evie hadn't seen Pop Pop and my aunt and uncle in quite some time. We had a nice, albeit brief visit.

E was an owl for Halloween... and I have to admit, she was the cutest freaking owl I ever saw. Her one piece of candy absolutely made her night... and she didn't even want to eat it- just wanted to squeeze the packaging. No worries E, I don't like 3 musketeers either. ;)

Evie with one of her great grandmothers (Jason's Nan)

Trunk or treat! 

Me update: I think that this pregnancy is going to have to be my last. I think my body is just not for pregnancy. I've continued to have 'Thyroid Dysfunction'- but not so badly that I need to be on medication (cool!). I failed my 1 hour glucose screen (not cool!). Not an official gestational diabetes diagnosis... but I'm preparing myself for the worst. And, to top it all off- I have a kidney stone! The urologist would like to do surgery in a couple weeks to remove it... because naturally, I wouldn't just pass the thing. That would be far too easy. It's already been in there over 2 weeks... So, I think it must be making itself a nice little home up in there.

Sometimes it feels like when it rains it pours... but truly, at the end of the day- we are so blessed. We have a roof over our heads, we are all (with the exception of me and my random, relatively mild ailments) healthy, we have food on our table, and we have a new family member joining us in about 3 months. I'm incredibly thankful for all that we have. And I fully recognize that it could certainly be much worse. But I'm really glad that it's not! :)

Until next time...