I don't give a damn about my bad reputation. You're living in the past, it's a new generation. A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do... And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation.

So, as many of you know- I'm a former ER Nurse turned L&D Nurse... and the thing about nurses (I think in almost any area of the hospital), is that we have horrible language. I mean, I think we could make sailors blush. I try to filter myself on my blog, because I don't want to completely horrify any of my readers... but, it's true... I have a problem. Well, I don't really think it's a problem, I personally think that sometimes the only way to truly convey the truth in a situation is to use the word "Shit", as "Crap" just doesn't quite carry the same weight. Especially if it's in regard to the stuff that's been coming out of Evie's ass lately. It's legit unholy. Yea...she had corn this week. Nuff said.

It's all about expression. Ya feel me?

However, we now have an 8-month old (OMG! Where does the time go? Seriously!). And that little nugget is soaking up language like a sponge. She is always taking in everything around her, and so Jas and I are trying to be mindful of this in our everyday language here at home.

She's soaking up knowledge like she's inhaling this strawberry. This chick loves fruit. Fo rizzz.

We have found a few ways to get our points across (with the nearly the same weight as the real thing), with some new and exciting words- and I thought I would share them all with you today. They're kind of fun to use, and definitely pack more punch than a word like "crap" or "freakin''. So, without further adieu...

For starters, over the holidays we developed this little gem. Whenever one of us wants to the call the other a "Motherf$@#er" (in a loving way- of course!) we add "Ya filthy animal" to the end of every sentence. For example "Thanks for not taking the garbage out, ya filthy animal" or "Way to make the baby upset, ya filthy animal." You should try it. It's so cathartic, and it totally gives you the satisfaction of using the real thing- without quite the same level of vulgarness.

Now, if you're really frustrated, and you need to give a hearty "F*$% you!" you can do one of 2 things- the first one is "Merry Christmas ya filthy animal." This will get your point across in a classy way. But the absolute best, and definitely my personal favorite is a simple "Namaste." With hands in the prayer position, and quick head nod. Adds a touch of sass to that word oozing with class.

So today Jas picked this up for me as a belated Valentine's Day gift... it was on clearance at CVS. And, I'm not sure if you can tell from the pic, but that's Justin Bieber's "Someday" perfume. As he gifts it to me, I respond: "Namaste." Complete with prayer hands and head bow. "Thanks a lot, ya filthy animal!" 

So, next time you think you're going to blow your top and start shouting expletives, I highly suggest you try these catch phrases. It's fun. And you may be amazed at how quickly the silliness of them will help diffuse a situation (added bonus).

We love each other. Seriously. We do. I promise.  Most days. I mean all days. 

Until next time... to all my readers- Namaste.